Should You Divorce?

Maybe you are asking yourself, “Why should I stay? This just isn’t working so I should just leave and find someone who will treat me better.” Totally understandable thinking! But just wait a minute to consider your thoughts before you might do something you regret.

First thing’s first – you will not have a better marriage just by finding somebody else. Problems will arise again (often the same ones!) – no matter how strongly you feel connected at first. And think about this…second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages..and third marriages fare even worse. So…if divorce was really a good answer, people would have more successful marriages their second (or third) time around, but that doesn’t typically happen.

Here’s why…in second marriages, divorce usually occurs because partners are not ready for the baggage that is brought in from the first marriage. More baggage, more problems. Makes sense, right? And then there’s also the complexity of blended families and frustrations (or insecurities) over previous marriages that may have an impact on second marriages.

So bottom line – Marriages take work, and finding the perfect partner is NOT the answer. There are no perfect partners. If you fell in love with your current partner and it was really good before, I suggest you try working it out with who you’re with…because it gets a whole lot tougher next time around.

Another thing to consider is your children, if applicable. As long as you have children, your spouse will be an eternal part of your life. Your spouse will ALWAYS be your children’s parent (no matter how present he or she is with your children). A divorced spouse is either physically present with child visitations or emotionally present – whether children talk about the fun they had with daddy last weekend or complain that mommy is never around. You won’t escape it, and it’s hard on everyone.

Children, of course, are also negatively affected by divorce. Children take divorce very hard, and whether they are young or grown, divorce makes a severe impact on a child. Of course, there are some instances where you may need to leave the marriage (if you are being physically abused, for example), but in most cases, a marriage can be improved. With that said, you shouldn’t keep a toxic marriage toxic…but that’s no reason to leave as a first resort. Have you tried to work it out? What have you both attempted? If you haven’t, attempt working it out first.

And just a sidenote…you can get free help HERE.

Traditional couples therapy doesn’t work all the time, and there’s a reason – research has proved that learning communication skills and resolving conflicts does NOT a happy marriage make. Yep. You have to build love first! If you want to learn more about this revolutionary method, shoot me an email at help@drkatpeoples.com , click on PROGRAMS, or sign up here for free help. I’ve been helping couples build love and fix their marriages with amazing results. It CAN get better! I promise you that.

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