How to Measure Your Love in One Step

Did you know that you can actually measure the state of your love? How? Through measuring the state of giving in your relationship. Yep. Sounds strange, but here’s the reason.

Love and giving go together…always. When you love, you naturally give to your spouse. And I’m not talking about expensive gifts and flowers (although those are nice too). Material things are only a small part of the picture. After all, many abusive marriages include lavish “I’m sorry” gifts. So gift-receiver beware if that’s the only thing you’re getting.

Nope, I’m talking about gifts of love – gifts of self – gifts of spirit. Essentially, this means putting your partner first above your own needs. This means giving of your time and self. That’s the ultimate gift. Does your spouse do that? Do you do that for your spouse?

If you have children and love them dearly, you naturally give of yourself and of your time. In fact, your children are all consuming of your time and love, and though difficult at times, you would not ever take those gifts away from them. Because of your strong love for your children, you give of yourself without expecting anything back.

Now imagine if you and your spouse did that for one another. Your love would grow exponentially. That’s the giving I’m talking about.

When you first fell in love with one another, you probably both gave freely, put one another first, and gave of your time as much as you could. Unfortunately, after a few years of marriage this kind of giving tends to decline. As the initial passion that mother nature gives us in love fades (something that naturally happens) so does the desire to give (also natural). And now the responsibility falls on the couple to build that love and give even when the desire isn’t there all the time.

Action creates love, not talking about intentions or why you don’t do what you used to do.

So here’s your barometer…the more giving, the more love.

You will love whoever you give of yourself to (remember that amazing love you have with your children?). So now that you are both on your own to build love, you have to give to keep building that love in your relationship (instead of giving because you want to give). The more you give, the more you will love. The love will keep growing.

So measure the giving in your relationship. Is it up to par? If not, make an agreement that you will both put each other first. With an agreement like that, you can’t lose.

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