3 Steps to Fall in Love Again

Mother nature only takes us so far, and eventually that infatuation we had with one another fades. It’s inevitable. Along with the rug being pulled from underneath us by biology, life’s responsibilities end up piling up on top of it all. There’s the responsibility of running the household, work, children, and extended family matters. Every ounce of energy that you used to have to spend on your partner seems taken. The most intimate time you have had with your spouse may have been bumping into one another on the way to the refrigerator. Not sexy. Definitely not romantic.

So what do you do to get that spark started up in your marriage if it’s dwindled ages ago? Well, of course there are date nights…and you SHOULD do those weekly. However, sometimes life gets in the way, and they end up falling by the wayside. My first piece of advice is – DON”T LET THAT HAPPEN. Make a standing appointment each week that you have to meet (or whatever can fit your schedules on a consistent basis). If you have children who need care, schedule an ongoing appointment with your babysitter to come over on a scheduled day and time each week. Make it automatic so that it’s an inconvenience to cancel the babysitting.

Okay, but here are some more tips on how to get closer to one another and start up a spark.

  1. Make it a point to touch – that’s right. Make a conscious effort to give 3 loving touches a day. A hug or a playful tug will do. A loving pat on the shoulder is fine. So is a kiss on the head. As long as it’s loving, do it 3 times a day EACH. Also, if you tend to sit on two different chairs when you plop out in front of the television (or on separate ends of the couch), bring it closer together. Snuggle when you have the opportunity.
  2. Find an interest that you both enjoy. Do you like listening to music? Make a point to listen to a great record together at the end of the weekend when the kids have gone to bed and enjoy together. Maybe you both like taking walks. Anything will do as long as you connect doing it. Talk, laugh, and enjoy the moment. Leave business matters out of the time you engage in your interest. My husband and I have challenges finding childcare consistently in our lives right now so we drive around looking for yard sales while our daughter naps in the car, and we talk and laugh along the way. Be creative. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time or money to enjoy one another. If you can’t think of anything you have in common, think of something you can discover together and try it out.
  3. Write letters to one another or leave each other loving notes or send emails just to say “I love you.” Try to connect daily in some way in a loving way so your partner know you are thinking about him or her. Try to do this through any medium – phone, email, talk, text, letter, email, etc. – just get the message out there – “thinking of you!”

So those are just a few things you can try, and there are so much more so be creative. How can you squeeze in some time with your spouse? And one last piece of advice…make the time, even if you don’t want to or you have too much to do. Your marriage should always be the priority, and you don’t have to start big…just take it one step at a time.